My children and I attended Mountainside Outfitters’ “Family Fun & $10k in FREE G#NS & other Door Prizes! 3-year Thank you sale” on 2/3/24.  We had not visited the place and thought this event would be a good time to check it out.  

Overall we had an enjoyable visit.  Nevertheless, sadly, we’ll not return to the place and will advise our friends and neighbors in the area to avoid this company.  Notice the first word in the event title—“Family.”  Part of the event description included, “BRING THE FAMILY! We’ll have Pony Rides, Mobile Petting Zoo, 4) [sic] Bounce Houses, Roping Dummy, Trampoline, Balloons & More!”  The occasion was clearly intended for all family members, including children.  The pony rides, bounce houses, balloons, and trampolines were obviously geared for children.

Though the company pitched the event as family friendly, it was anything but that, unless the owners and employees of Mountainside Outfitters believe profanity, nudity, sexual innuendos, lewdness, and crassness are family friendly.  Two adults were completing a large painting of a woman flipping the bird; the painting is visible for all to see.  The photo below shows one of the many worthless products that the company sells; the elevation of this elk penis and description is perfect for children to easily read. 

All of my children asked me about the sign in amazement.  “For only $400, you could be walking around, swingin’ the biggest d*ck in town!”  Firstly, what a total waste of $400.  Secondly, what kind of adult reckons any value at all to such a stupid, sinful display of such a worthless product?  Answer:  only an immature, sinful one who has no business running a business of any kind.

One of my children told me about a nude woman conspicuously posted near the restrooms.  She did this to keep me from going near it.  Yes, as a God-fearing man, I try to guard my eyes and the eyes of my family from pornography; see Job 31; Phil 4:8.  That there are companies like this one in the buckle of the Bible belt is despicable.   

Another reason that my family will never return to or patronize this business is that many of its products are cheap, worthless gimmicks, e.g., vending machine guns safes.  I wonder what the fire and security ratings of these “safes” are.  Tsk.  If Harbor Freight were a gun store, Mountainside Outfitters would be it. 

The owners of the company are confused, ignorant, statist pagans who are striving to make a buck off of their unsuspecting neighbors.  Note the photo of the hackneyed and demonstrably-false “PRO GUN, PRO TRUMP” sign. 

Can you say, incongruous?  Anyone who thinks Donald Trump is pro-gun or pro-liberty or pro-America is either wicked or mentally retarded.  If Mountainside Outfitters truly supported gun ownership and other expressions of liberty, they would not support the wicked, tyrannical, immoral, debauched former president of the U.S.A.—Donald Trump.  Trump’s beliefs and his administration’s policies and practices were the very antithesis of liberty. 

The company sells a shirt with “I Identify As A Patriot” in the colors of the American flag while it simultaneously “supports the troops” and the taxpayer-funded jackboots of the “THIN BLUE LINE” fraternity that help enforce the sinful, tyrannical, illegal, unconstitutional laws of this corrupt and debauched land.  A county LEO walked around Mountainside Outfitters while I was there.  Why?  I cannot remember the last time I saw a cop in a gun store.  True patriots don’t hire members of the domestic standing army to “protect them” or “keep them safe.”  Good grief.  Perhaps the company thought a cop was necessary because it foolishly chose to provide an open, unsupervised beer cooler to its patrons.  Please name another gun store that provides free booze to its customers as they walk around with loaded and cocked guns on their hips.     

Mindless, jingoistic signs, buttons, patches, stickers, and clothing items abound.  Many demonstrate the company’s worship of the nation’s standing army, the very thing the founding fathers of America detested and feared more than anything, save a central bank! 

Lastly, I witnessed a depressing exchange between the owner of Mountainside Outfitters and one of my cousins.  The profane owner used the Lord Jesus Christ’s name in vain while reproving my cousin for something that he didn’t like.  I and my children were stunned by his words.  Yes, I’m well aware of the flippant and frequent misuse of God’s name in ‘Merica today.  Nonetheless, it is a gross sin!  If a man cannot control his tongue, especially a local business owner in his establishment, he deserves no respect.